Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
We are all done wearing pants today
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
