when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize