After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
This gyro tastes like lonliness
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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