why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
