You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
