Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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