You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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