is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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