Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Drake has all the answers
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Randomize
