My liver just broke up with me...
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
two words...techno handjob
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Randomize
