Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
