what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
