I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
