He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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