Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
