I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
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