my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
