i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
