your thong is hanging out like whoa
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
NoShamevember. You game?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
