Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
