He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
