I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
