yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
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