At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
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