I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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