Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
