i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize