Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
