Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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