is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
