i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
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