508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
so explain again why im purple
no
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
