i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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