I like my sex mixed with concussions.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
don't judge my taste in strippers
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
