i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize