i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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