There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
