I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
