I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
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