Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Randomize
