we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
