Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
fuck your aforementioned shoe
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
