I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
