guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
