he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
porn star boner night. come get it.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize