Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
