we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
