Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize
