cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
