...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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