i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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