i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
The feeling are messing with the penis
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize