you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
