I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Randomize