you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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