Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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