Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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