wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize