OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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