I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
