Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
