some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Randomize
