I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
