I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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