I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize