I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
