Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
