Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
